Anal Sex Slang and the Best Positions for Anal Sex
What rimming and back door mean, the real infection risks of rimming like hepatitis A, and the best positions for anal sex for comfort and control.
General education, not medical advice. If something here worries you, talk with a clinician.
Table of Contents
Rimming means oral contact with the anus, and “back door” is old slang for the anus or for anal sex. The best positions for anal sex are the ones that let the receiving partner stay relaxed and control how deep and how fast things go. Spooning and positions with the receiver on top tend to do that best. Lying on the stomach with a pillow is also relaxing, but it gives the giving partner more control, so it works best with frequent check-ins.
Slang is the easy part. Rimming carries real infection risks, including hepatitis A and gut bacteria that most people never think about. Anal sex also has its own rules about lube, pacing, and condoms.
This guide explains the common terms in plain language. It then covers how to make rimming safer and which positions make anal sex more comfortable. It closes with the warning signs that mean it is time to stop or see a doctor.
What the slang terms mean
Most anal sex slang falls into two groups. Some words describe oral contact with the anus, and others describe the anus itself or penetration. The table below sorts the terms people search for most.
| Term | What it means | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Anilingus (or analingus) | Oral contact with the anus | The technical term used by health groups |
| Rimming | Oral contact with the anus | The most common everyday word for anilingus |
| Rim job | Oral stimulation of the anus with the lips and tongue | Same act as rimming, phrased as a noun |
| Tossing salad | Oral stimulation of the anus | Another slang name for a rim job |
| Back door | The anus | Recorded in English slang for centuries |
| Backdoor sex | Anal sex | Built on the “back door” meaning of the anus |
| Backdoor (everyday use) | A rear entrance, or a secret or indirect way in | Most uses of the word have nothing to do with sex |
Why the same word can mean different things
Context does most of the work. Green’s Dictionary of Slang traces “back-door” as a word for the anus back to the late 1500s. In everyday English, though, a backdoor can be a rear entrance, a secret route, or a hidden way into a computer system. So a phrase like “getting backdoored” might be about sex, or it might be about a betrayal at work.
Sex educators and health sites tend to use “anilingus” or “rimming” because they are clear and neutral. The American Sexual Health Association treats the two as the same act. If you are talking with a doctor or a new partner, the plain terms usually avoid confusion.
Related terms you may see
Some slang overlaps with other kinds of anal play. Pegging is one of them, and it comes with its own questions about toys, consent, and roles. Our guide on what pegging is covers it in full. The safety basics in this article, like lube and slow pacing, apply there too.
Is rimming safe? The infection risks
Rimming is not risk-free, and its main risks are different from those of other oral sex. The CDC says oral contact with the anus can spread hepatitis A and B, the parasite Giardia, and bacteria such as E. coli and Shigella. Hepatitis A, Giardia, E. coli, and Shigella are gut infections. They spread when invisible traces of stool reach the mouth, which is why careful washing alone does not remove the risk. Hepatitis B works differently: it is carried in blood and body fluids, so cuts or sores on the mouth or around the anus raise the risk.
Hepatitis A, shigella and gut parasites
Hepatitis A is a viral infection of the liver. The World Health Organization notes that it can spread through oral-anal sex with an infected person, even though casual contact does not spread it. Symptoms usually begin 14 to 28 days after exposure. They can include fever, nausea, diarrhea, dark urine, and jaundice, a yellowing of the skin and eyes. Recovery is often slow and can take several weeks or even months.
The virus does not only travel by direct mouth-to-anus contact. CATIE, a Canadian health information group, also lists fingers, sex toys, and a used condom handled after anal sex as possible routes. In practice, anything that touches the anus and then reaches a mouth can carry it.
Shigella is a bacterium that causes diarrhea, and it spreads with surprising ease. According to the CDC, swallowing just a small amount of the germ can make someone sick. It often passes during sex with a partner who has diarrhea or has recently had it. Infected people can keep shedding the bacteria for up to two weeks after their symptoms clear, so a partner who feels better may still be contagious.
Giardia, an intestinal parasite, appears on the same CDC list as E. coli. Both can cause stomach upset that is easy to mistake for food poisoning.
STIs that can pass during rimming
Several sexually transmitted infections can move between the anus and the mouth. Herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, and HPV can all reach the person giving rimming. Better2Know, an STI testing service, notes that giving rimming is generally riskier than receiving it. The receiving partner is not risk-free, though. The American Sexual Health Association notes that an infection on a partner’s lips, mouth, or throat can pass to the anus, and a cold sore can spread herpes this way.
Many of these infections cause no symptoms at all. The American Sexual Health Association reports that over 90% of gonorrhea infections in the throat go unnoticed. Herpes can also be present on skin that looks completely normal. As a result, a partner who seems healthy may still carry an infection without knowing it.
HIV is the main exception. The CDC says there is little to no risk of getting HIV from oral sex, including oral-anal contact. The larger HIV question comes with anal penetration, which the next sections address.
How to make rimming safer
You can lower the risks of rimming with a barrier, vaccines, and some simple habits. None of them makes it risk-free, but together they block the most common routes.
Use a dental dam
A dental dam is a thin sheet of latex or polyurethane that sits between the mouth and the anus. Cleveland Clinic advises laying it flat so it covers the whole area, then holding it in place. A little water-based or silicone-based lube on the body side can help it stay put. If it slips or tears, stop and use a fresh one.
Each dam is for one use only. Keep track of which side faces the body so you do not flip it partway through. If either partner is allergic to latex, polyurethane dams work instead. They cost about $1 to $2 each.
Medical News Today points out that there is little research on how well dental dams work, so proper and consistent use matters. In a pinch, plain kitchen plastic wrap can act as a barrier, though it rips easily. Use the non-microwavable kind, because microwave-safe wrap may have tiny holes. For a step-by-step walkthrough, see our guide on what a dental dam is for oral sex.
Vaccines, washing and timing
Vaccines are the strongest protection against hepatitis A and B. There is no vaccine for hepatitis C. The CDC calls vaccination the most effective way to prevent both hepatitis A and hepatitis B. Full protection against hepatitis A takes two or three shots, depending on the vaccine. A combined shot covers both viruses for adults 18 and older. The CDC also recommends hepatitis B vaccination for all adults aged 19 to 59. The HPV vaccine is worth asking about too, since it protects against nine HPV types, including those linked to anal and throat cancers.
Timing matters as well. Skip rimming if either partner has diarrhea or has had it recently, since shigella can linger. Avoid it too if anyone has cuts, sores, or infections around the mouth or genitals. A shower beforehand helps with comfort and confidence.
Finally, keep things moving in one direction. Do not go from the anus to the mouth or vagina with the same body part, toy, or condom. Wash or switch first.
Before anal sex: lube, relaxation and protection
Comfortable anal sex depends on three things that matter more than any position: lube, relaxed muscles, and protection. When these are in place, almost every position becomes easier and safer.
Why lube is not optional
The anus does not make its own lubrication, so lube has to come from a bottle. Without it, friction can cause pain and tiny tears in the delicate lining of the anal canal. Use plenty, apply it around and just inside the opening, and add more as soon as anything starts to feel dry.
The type of lube matters as well. Silicone lube lasts a long time and is safe to use with condoms. It can damage silicone toys, though, so pair silicone toys with water-based lube or test a small spot first. Water-based lube is also condom-safe, although it dries faster and needs frequent topping up. Oil-based lube is the one to watch, because it is not compatible with latex condoms; if you prefer it, pair it with polyurethane condoms instead.
Relaxation and going slow
The anus has two ring-shaped muscles, called sphincters, that need to relax before anything goes in. You can loosen the outer one on purpose. The inner one is not under conscious control and only relaxes in response to gentle, steady pressure. That difference explains why rushing so often hurts.
RFSU, the Swedish sexual health association, says the most common cause of pain is going in too quickly. It adds that thickness usually causes more discomfort than length. Starting with a finger or a small toy gives the muscles time to adjust before anything larger. Any toy used anally needs a flared base or a string, since the rectum has no natural end point that would stop it.
Talk before you start and keep talking during. Agree on a word or signal that means “stop,” and respect it straight away. Pain is a reason to pause and adjust, never something to push through.
Condoms and HIV risk
According to HIV.gov, anal sex carries the highest HIV risk of any common sex act, and the receiving partner faces the greater share of it. Stanford Health Care cites research showing that receptive anal sex can be up to 18 times riskier than receptive vaginal sex.
Used correctly, condoms are highly effective at preventing HIV, and they also help block gonorrhea and chlamydia. PrEP, an HIV prevention medicine, greatly lowers the chance of getting HIV from sex for people at higher risk.
One rule has no exceptions. Never move from anal to vaginal sex without washing first or putting on a fresh condom, because gut bacteria do not belong in the vagina.
The best positions for anal sex
There is no single best position for anal sex, but the most comfortable ones share a common feature: they let the receiving partner relax and set the depth and speed. Women’s Health, citing a sex educator, notes that even small shifts in angle can make a big difference to comfort. Expect to experiment and adjust as you go.
The positions below are described in general terms. Start with the gentler ones and treat the others as options for later, once you both know what feels good.
Spooning
In spooning, both partners lie on their sides with the giving partner behind. It is one of the most relaxed positions for a beginner. According to Women’s Health, spooning keeps the receiver comfortable enough for the anal muscles to relax, and it lets them reach back to guide their partner.
Because the bodies are curled together, spooning tends to limit depth on its own. It also suits slow, gentle movement and plenty of skin contact, which makes it a good first choice for anyone who feels nervous.
Receiver on top
Here the receiving partner sits or kneels over a partner who is lying down or seated. Positions with the receiver on top give them the most control over depth and speed. RFSU makes the same point, noting that the person riding controls both pace and depth.
This approach is ideal for learning what feels good, since the receiver can stop, pause, or ease back at any moment. It does take some leg strength to hold for long. Facing toward the partner or away from them both work, so choose whichever feels steadier.
Lying flat on the stomach
The receiver lies face down here, often with a pillow under the hips. A lube maker’s guide notes that the pillow raises the hips while also helping to prevent penetration that goes too deep. Women’s Health describes the flat version as very relaxing, although it hands more control to the giving partner. For that reason, partners should check in often about how it feels.
Stomach-down positions are a natural next step once spooning feels easy. The receiver’s whole body can rest on the bed, which helps the muscles stay loose.
Doggy style and backdoor missionary
Doggy style, with the receiver on hands and knees, is the classic rear-entry position. Women’s Health lists it for beginners because the receiver can guide the pace and tilt the hips to change depth. However, it can also allow deeper access than other positions, so it calls for extra care. A beginner’s guide from the same lube maker advises avoiding positions that allow very deep penetration until you have more experience.
Backdoor missionary is the face-to-face option. The receiver lies on their back, often with a pillow under the hips, and can press their knees against their partner’s sides to control depth. Eye contact makes it easier to read each other and to stop quickly if something feels wrong.
Whatever position you choose, the basics from the last section still apply. Use more lube than you think you need, and change position whenever something feels off.
When to stop and when to see a doctor
Stop if anal sex causes sharp pain, and see a doctor if bleeding or pain lasts after sex. Mild pressure or the feeling of needing the toilet is common. Sharp or burning pain is your body telling you something is wrong.
Pain and bleeding are signals
An anal fissure is a small tear in the lining of the anal canal. Cleveland Clinic explains that trauma such as stretching can cause one, leading to sharp pain and bleeding. Most fissures heal within a few days to weeks. One that lasts more than eight weeks is called chronic and needs treatment.
Hemorrhoids can cause similar bleeding, pain, and itching, so the two are easy to confuse. RFSU notes that a hemorrhoid you did not know you had can also make anal sex painful. A doctor can tell the difference quickly. Give your body time to heal before trying again.
When to get urgent care
Some symptoms should not wait for a regular appointment. Get same-day or emergency care for heavy bleeding or bleeding that will not stop, severe pain in the belly or rectum, or a fever after anal sex. These can be signs of a deeper injury that needs prompt treatment.
If a toy or other object gets stuck inside, do not keep trying to pull it out or reach for it with other objects. Repeated attempts can push it deeper or injure the lining. Go to urgent care or an emergency department, where staff can remove it safely. This is a common problem, and doctors treat it without judgment. A flared base on every anal toy is what prevents it in the first place.
Testing and check-ups
Regular STI testing makes sense if you have anal sex or rimming with new partners. Tell the clinic which kinds of sex you have. Anal gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis often cause no symptoms. An anal swab checks for gonorrhea and chlamydia. If you give rimming or oral sex, ask for a throat swab as well. Syphilis is usually diagnosed with a blood test, and so are hepatitis A and B.
Watch for signs of a gut infection in the weeks after rimming. Hepatitis A symptoms often appear about two to four weeks after exposure, though they can take up to six weeks. They include yellow skin or eyes. Diarrhea can point to shigella or another gut infection. See a doctor if any of these show up, and mention the kind of sex you had. It helps them choose the right tests.
Frequently asked questions
What does “backdoor” mean in slang?
In sexual slang, “back door” means the anus, and “backdoor sex” means anal sex. The word has a long history in this sense. Outside of sex, a backdoor usually means a rear entrance or a secret, indirect way of getting something done. Context almost always makes the meaning clear.
Is back door sex healthy?
Anal sex can be part of a healthy sex life when partners use plenty of lube, go slowly, and use condoms. It does carry real risks. Anal sex has the highest HIV risk of common sex acts, according to HIV.gov. It can also cause small tears if rushed. Consent, patience, and regular testing keep the risks low.
Can you get an STI from rimming?
Yes. Herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, and HPV can all pass during rimming. The CDC also lists hepatitis A and B, along with gut infections such as Giardia, E. coli, and Shigella that are not classic STIs but can spread this way. HIV risk from oral contact is very low. A dental dam and the hepatitis vaccines both help lower the risk.
Why do people rim?
The skin around the anus has many nerve endings, so many people find the touch pleasurable. For some couples, it is also about trust and closeness, since it can feel very intimate. Others try it simply out of curiosity. Like any sex act, it is fine to enjoy it and fine to say no.
How common is anal sex?
It is more common than many people assume. One peer-reviewed study cites US data showing 36% of women and 44% of men aged 25 to 44 have had heterosexual anal sex. The same paper suggests the share may be rising.
The bottom line
Anal sex slang is simpler than it sounds. Rimming, rim jobs, and tossing salad all describe oral contact with the anus, while “back door” means the anus or anal sex.
The health side deserves more attention than the words. Rimming can spread hepatitis A, shigella, parasites, and several STIs, so dental dams and hepatitis vaccines are worth the effort. For penetration, the best positions for anal sex keep the receiver relaxed and in charge of depth. Spooning and receiver-on-top positions are good places to start. Lying on the stomach is relaxing too, but the giver controls more, so check in often.
Above all, use plenty of lube, go slowly, and stop if it hurts. Comfort comes from patience and talking to each other, not from any single position.
Related reading
- What Is Pegging? Meaning, Consent, and Safety Basics
- What Is Greek Sex? A Plain Guide to Greek, Russian and Polynesian Slang
- What Is a Dental Dam for Oral Sex?
- How to Choose Lube: Water, Silicone or Oil?
Sources
- Oral Sex and STIs - American Sexual Health Association
- What is a Rim Job? How to Do it Right - Babeland
- back-door, n. - Green’s Dictionary of Slang
- BACKDOOR Definition & Meaning - Dictionary.com
- About STI Risk and Oral Sex - CDC
- Hepatitis A - World Health Organization
- What you need to know about hepatitis A - CATIE
- About Shigella Infection - CDC
- How Shigella Spreads - CDC
- Can you get an STI from rimming? - Better2Know
- What Is a Dental Dam & How to Use It - Cleveland Clinic
- Dental dam: Effectiveness and how to use one - Medical News Today
- Viral Hepatitis Among Sexually Active Adults - CDC
- Hepatitis A Vaccine - CDC
- Tips for good anal sex - expert advice - RFSU
- Best Lube for Anal Sex: Picks & Anal Lubricant Safety Tips - Bespoke Surgical
- Preventing Sexual Transmission of HIV - HIV.gov
- Risk of Exposure to HIV/AIDS - Stanford Health Care
- 15 Best Anal Sex Positions, From Beginner to Advanced - Women’s Health
- 6 Easy and Pleasurable Anal Sex Positions for Beginners - pjur
- Anal Fissure: What It Is, Symptoms, Causes & Treatment - Cleveland Clinic
- Prevalence and Correlates of Heterosexual Anal Intercourse among Men and Women, 20 U.S. Cities - AIDS and Behavior (via PubMed Central)