Can Asexual People Enjoy Sex, Masturbate, or Feel Arousal?

Can asexual people enjoy sex, masturbate, or get turned on? Yes to all three, for some asexual people, and none of it makes them less asexual. Asexuality describes little or no sexual attraction to other people. It does not describe what a body can feel, what a person chooses to do, or whether they like it.

That gap between attraction and everything else is where most of the confusion lives. A person can have a sex drive with no one in mind, or a body that responds to an erotic scene they have no wish to join. They can also have sex for reasons that have nothing to do with lust.

This guide answers the questions people actually search, one at a time. Each answer comes first, followed by what surveys of asexual people and lab research on arousal show, and where that evidence runs thin. Everything here is non-graphic and written for adults.

Attraction, libido, arousal, behaviour and enjoyment are five different things

Asexuality is defined by one thing only: little or no sexual attraction to other people. Libido, arousal, behaviour and enjoyment are separate experiences, and each can show up in an asexual life or not. Philosophers Natasha McKeever and Luke Brunning make the point in Aeon that the standard definition leaves room for arousal, fantasies, masturbation and sex without any contradiction.

The table below keeps the five apart. Later sections lean on it, so it is worth a minute.

Why attraction is the anchor

Orientation labels describe who a person is drawn to. Being gay or straight says nothing about how often someone has sex, and asexuality works the same way. That is why the definition sits on attraction, not on frequency or desire.

Healthline draws the line between three terms people often blur. Libido is the drive itself, which some describe as an itch. Sexual desire is wanting sex for any reason, from pleasure to connection to conception. Attraction is the pull toward a particular person.

How the pieces combine

Because the five vary on their own, asexual people end up with very different lives. One person has a strong libido, masturbates often and never wants partnered sex. Another has almost no drive, no interest in sex and a happy romantic relationship. A third has sex with a partner and enjoys the closeness without feeling attraction.

All three can be accurately described as asexual. The label tells you about one row of the table. It does not predict the other four.

Do asexual people have sex?

Some asexual people have sex, but most of those surveyed have not. In the 2022 Ace Community Survey, 37.1% of ace-spectrum respondents had ever had consensual sex, while 60.9% never had.

What the surveys count

The Ace Community Survey is a large online questionnaire of asexual people, released every year since 2014. Its 2022 round drew 10,199 responses, 9,657 of them from people on the asexual spectrum. The numbers shift a lot between groups under that umbrella:

Roughly one in three people who call themselves simply asexual has had sex at some point. The past year tells a quieter story. Among asexual respondents, 45.6% had no consensual sexual activity in that year, 13.0% had it once or twice, and 5.3% had it at least 50 times.

Older academic work points the same way. In a 2010 study of people recruited through the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), 73% of self-identified asexual people had never had intercourse. The other 27% had, and still said they lacked sexual attraction. Over 85% in that study said their ideal frequency of intercourse was less than twice a year.

Why the numbers are shaky

Treat every figure above as a rough sketch. The Ace Community Survey is a convenience sample spread through ace websites and social media, and its own report says respondents cannot be considered representative of ace people in general. The 2010 study had the same limit, since everyone came through AVEN.

Three other problems blur the picture:

• “Ever had sex” includes the past. Many people have sex before they find the word asexual. Some realise they are asexual only after those experiences. A lifetime yes does not mean current interest.
• People skip the question. In 2022, 14.7% of respondents declined the sexual history section entirely. Those who opted out may differ from those who answered.
• “Sex” is not defined the same way everywhere. Some studies ask only about intercourse. The 2022 survey also left room for people unsure whether an experience counted, and 2.0% chose “unsure”.

What survives all of that is simple. Sex and asexuality coexist for a sizeable minority, and having had sex does not cancel the identity.

Do asexual people masturbate?

Many asexual people masturbate, and doing so does not make them any less asexual. It is far from rare, though one study found asexual women did it less often than sexual women.

How common it is in studies

The 2010 AVEN-recruited study found that 80% of asexual men and 73% of asexual women masturbated. A later University of British Columbia study of 351 asexual participants found that nearly half of the women and 75 percent of the men masturbated and had sexual fantasies. Another analysis put monthly masturbation at roughly 50% of asexual people.

The comparisons matter as much as the totals. In a 2017 study by Yule, Brotto and Gorzalka, asexual women were less likely than sexual women to masturbate at least monthly. They were also less likely to do so than asexual men. So the honest summary has two halves. Masturbation is common among asexual people, yet asexual women in that study did it less often than sexual women. The study gave no matching comparison for men.

Some asexual people never masturbate, and that is just as consistent with the identity. Part of the reason is drive. In the 2022 Ace Community Survey, 17.3% of ace respondents rated their sex drive as nonexistent, against 0.8% of non-ace respondents. For people with no drive, there is simply no urge to act on.

Lab data hint at why masturbation and partnered sex come apart so cleanly. In the Brotto and Yule study, asexual women scored lower than other women on desire for sex with a partner. Their desire for solitary sexual activity, though, did not differ from the sexual groups. The authors noted that this matched what asexual people report about masturbation. That part of the analysis rested on only six asexual participants, so treat it as a hint. It suggests the drive can be ordinary while the wish to share it with someone is missing.

Reasons that have nothing to do with another person

The reasons asexual people give tend to be practical. Researchers found asexual participants were less likely than sexual ones to masturbate for pleasure or fun. Tension relief came up more often, and some participants described it in purely functional terms.

Community writers list similar motives. The Asexuality Archive, a long-running ace explainer site, names relaxation, stress relief, boredom, easing period pain, and treating it as a bodily function. It also lists the plain fact that orgasms tend to feel good.

First-person accounts gathered by The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project say much the same. One contributor calls libido a bodily function and masturbation the way they care for it. Others describe it as purely physical, or say that thinking about a specific person would ruin it.

The point about specific people explains why masturbation and asexuality fit together so easily. Solo sex needs a sex drive, a body and some privacy. It does not need anyone to be attracted to. In the 2010 study, participants expressed a strong sense that sex with oneself can exist without sexual attraction. A separate guide on solo sex covers the practical side in more depth.

Do asexual people get turned on?

Yes, asexual people can get turned on. The one lab study that measured it found asexual women’s bodies responded to erotic material much like other women’s did. What differed was how they felt about it.

What the lab study measured

In 2011, Lori Brotto and Morag Yule at the University of British Columbia tested 38 women aged 19 to 55. Seven were asexual; the rest were heterosexual, bisexual or lesbian. Each watched a neutral film and an erotic film while a small sensor tracked vaginal blood flow, a standard lab marker of physical arousal.

The results undercut the idea that asexuality is a broken arousal system. The researchers found no significant group differences in the genital response or in the rise in self-reported arousal. The asexual women’s bodies reacted, and they noticed it.

The gap showed up in their feelings. Asexual women reported less positive emotion and less sense of attraction during the erotic film. They did not report more negative feelings or anxiety either. They took in the film neutrally, as something happening rather than something wanted. The authors concluded that arousal capacity looked normal, and that asexuality need not be treated as a dysfunction.

When the body and the mind agree, and when they do not

One finding runs against intuition. In most women, genital arousal and felt arousal line up only loosely. A meta-analysis of 134 studies cited in the paper found an average match of r = .26 for women and r = .66 for men. Here r is a correlation, where a perfect match would score one.

The asexual women matched far more closely, at 0.79. The authors suggest they may be more aware of their own bodily signals. That idea is a hypothesis built on seven people, not a settled fact.

Mismatch also explains a common worry. Arousal can happen without any wish for sex, in anyone, of any orientation. An asexual person who becomes aroused during a scene, a dream or at random has not uncovered hidden attraction. As one ace outreach site puts it, arousal is physical, and getting aroused is not a sign someone is not asexual.

What this study cannot tell us

The evidence base is thin, and it is worth saying plainly. The study had only seven asexual participants, showed only heterosexual scenes, and drew volunteers willing to watch erotic films. Those volunteers may not resemble asexual women who would refuse.

There are no published genital arousal data for asexual men. Claims about how asexual men respond physically rest on surveys and personal accounts, not lab measurement.

Can asexual people enjoy sex?

Some asexual people do enjoy sex, physically, emotionally or both. Enjoying an experience is different from being drawn to a person, so liking sex does not quietly turn someone allosexual.

Enjoying sensation, closeness or a partner’s pleasure

Pleasure from touch is a body response. Like orgasm, it follows from physical stimulation and does not require attraction to whoever is there. That is why an asexual person can find sex physically pleasant while feeling no pull toward their partner’s body.

Asexual people who enjoy sex usually describe the draw in terms other than attraction. Healthline lists the physical pleasure itself, showing and receiving affection, and the sensual side of touching and cuddling. Medical News Today notes that some asexual people engage in sexual contact to gain an emotional connection. AVEN’s description of being sex-favourable, quoted in Aeon, is an openness to enjoying sex physically or emotionally, often by giving pleasure rather than receiving it.

A hypothetical shows how this can look. Suppose an asexual woman has sex with her long-term partner every few weeks. She likes the warmth, the trust and seeing her partner happy. She never looks at her partner and feels lust. Both parts of that description are true at once, and neither cancels the other.

Repulsed, indifferent and favourable, in brief

Attitudes toward sex vary widely among asexual people, and a separate article covers them in detail. The short version comes from the 2022 Ace Community Survey, where ace-spectrum respondents could pick more than one answer. The most common response, at 41.9%, was that it strongly depended on circumstances. Next came 38.3% who felt averse to having sex themselves, 33.6% who felt repulsed, and 29.4% who felt indifferent. Only 12.4% felt favourable, compared with 71.2% of non-ace respondents.

Those labels are not fixed. In the same survey, 28.5% said their feelings changed over time. Someone indifferent in one relationship may feel favourable in a trusting one, or repulsed after a bad experience.

The survey asked about attitudes rather than enjoyment itself, but the pattern is clear. Enjoyment is possible, while a favourable view of sex is held by only a small share. An asexual person who does not enjoy sex is not doing asexuality wrong either.

Sexual fantasies but still asexual?

You can have sexual fantasies and still be asexual. Fantasy is imagination; attraction is a pull toward real people. Research also finds that when asexual people fantasise, the fantasies often look different from other people’s.

Fantasies with no “me” in them

The clearest pattern is a missing self. In the University of British Columbia research, asexual men and women who fantasised usually did not include themselves in the scene. Another analysis by the same research group found 33% of asexual women and 19% of asexual men said their fantasies do not show themselves at all. Asexual participants were also more likely to report fantasies that involve no other people, and asexual women more often fantasised about fictional characters.

Psychologist Anthony Bogaert gave the pattern a name in 2012: autochorissexualism, or “identity-less” sexuality. He described it as a disconnect between a person’s sense of self and the target of their arousal. Bogaert framed it as a paraphilia, an unusual sexual interest, so many asexual people prefer another word. The community term aegosexual, built from roots meaning roughly “sex without self” (a Greek “without” plus the Latin “ego”), became the identity-affirming alternative.

In practice, an aegosexual person may be aroused by a story or a scene and may masturbate to it, yet have no wish to take part. They watch rather than join, even in their own imagination. In the 2022 Ace Community Survey, 13.1% of ace respondents identified as aegosexual or autochorissexual.

Why a fantasy is not attraction

The UBC researchers made a point that applies far beyond asexuality. They found heavy overlap between the fantasy content of asexual and sexual participants. They suggested fantasies may help bring on physical arousal and need not reflect what a person wants in real life.

Ordinary experience bears this out. Plenty of people of every orientation imagine things they would never act on. A daydream about a fictional pair is closer to enjoying a novel than to wanting a person. Asexuality is defined by attraction to real people, so imagined scenes do not change the definition.

Fantasies can still prompt useful questions. If your daydreams keep returning to a specific real person you would like to be with sexually, a gray-asexual or demisexual label might fit better. If they feature characters or strangers you watch from outside, that pattern is common among asexual people. Either way, only you decide which word fits, and you can change it later.

Asexual but want to have sex: reasons, compromise and consent

An asexual person can want sex without feeling attraction, and the reasons are as varied as anyone’s. What matters most is that the choice is theirs, made freely and open to change.

Partners, closeness, children and pleasure

The reasons that come up most often fall into a few groups:

• A partner and the relationship. Showing a romantic partner care and meeting their needs is one of the most common reasons. Researchers have linked asexual people’s sexual activity to being in a relationship with a sexual partner.
• Closeness. Some want the emotional connection or the affection that comes with it.
• Conceiving a child. Having children is the other common reason WebMD names.
• Physical pleasure or libido. Some want the sensations, or a way to satisfy a sex drive with someone they trust.
• Relaxation or wellbeing. McKeever and Brunning list relaxing and benefiting mental health alongside closeness and a partner’s benefit.

None of these require attraction. They require a reason. As McKeever and Brunning note, most people want sex at least partly for what it brings, such as pleasure or intimacy.

Negotiating in mixed relationships

When one partner is asexual and the other is not, sex often becomes something to plan rather than assume. The authors of the Brotto and Yule lab study made exactly this point. They suggested a sexual and asexual couple might focus on agreements about sexual activity that suit both partners, rather than on treatments to boost desire.

Here is a hypothetical. Sam is asexual and sex-indifferent; Jo is allosexual and wants sex regularly. They agree on a rough rhythm Sam is comfortable with, a short list of acts Sam is happy to do and a few that are off the table. They also agree that either can cancel without explanation. Jo finds other forms of closeness, such as cuddling or time alone together, count for more than expected. The plan works because Sam can say no without paying for it.

Talking early helps. Many asexual people discuss likes, dislikes and expectations at the start of a relationship. A piece in The Conversation argues that those talks reduce requests that make someone uncomfortable or carry subtle coercion.

Consent and pressure

Agreeing to sex is not the same as attraction, and it is never owed. McKeever and Brunning put it plainly: no one should ever feel pressured into unwanted sex. They also argue that the social expectation that romance must include sex is part of what creates that pressure.

Those expectations leave a mark. The 2022 Ace Community Survey asked whether people had followed sexual scripts learned from the society around them. In all, 47.3% of ace respondents said they had engaged in consensual sexual activity they would have declined had they known about other options or identities. Among asexual respondents the figure was 48.3%. Younger asexual people may also feel pushed toward sex as a rite of passage into adulthood.

Some signs that agreement has slid into obligation:

• You agree mainly to avoid an argument, guilt or the fear of losing the relationship.
• Saying no has a cost, such as sulking, punishment or repeated asking.
• You dread planned sex but feel you cannot raise it.
• Your partner treats a past yes as a standing promise.

If any of those sound familiar, it is worth talking it through with your partner or a sex-positive therapist who understands asexuality. You can withdraw consent at any time, including midway through.

FAQ: sex drive, self-touch, kids and the 1 percent figure

Can asexual people still have a sex drive?

Many do. Libido is separate from orientation, so an asexual person can have a low, average or strong drive. In the 2022 Ace Community Survey, most ace respondents rated their drive as weak or moderate. About 4.5% rated it very strong and 17.3% said it was nonexistent. A drive with no target is common, and it usually finds an outlet in masturbation, if anywhere.

Am I still asexual if I touch myself?

Yes. Masturbation needs a body and, often, a sex drive; it does not need attraction to anyone. Most asexual people in the 2010 AVEN study masturbated, and many saw sex with oneself as unrelated to attraction. Whether you do it daily, rarely or never says nothing about your orientation.

Can asexual people have kids?

They can, and many do. Some asexual people have sex specifically to conceive, and wanting children is one of the common reasons asexual people give for having sex at all. Others build families in ways that involve no sex at all, the same routes open to anyone. WebMD lists having a committed partner and children among the lives asexual people lead.

How many people are asexual?

The most cited estimate is about 1%. It comes from a UK national sample of 18,681 people, in which about 1% said they had never felt sexually attracted to anyone. A later wave of the same survey found 0.5%, and other studies range from 1.5% to 3.3% depending on who and what was asked. Many experts think the true number may be higher, because some people have never heard the word or use a different label.

Is asexuality the same as low libido or a disorder?

No. The DSM-5, the main psychiatric manual in the US, requires clinicians to rule out asexuality before diagnosing a low-desire disorder. Clinicians often frame the difference around distress: low desire usually troubles the person, while asexuality usually does not. That line is blurry in practice, and a separate guide on asexuality versus low libido goes deeper.

What your body does versus who you are drawn to

Bodies respond, drives push, and people make choices about sex for many reasons. None of that decides orientation. Asexuality rests on one question: do you feel sexually drawn to other people? If the answer is rarely or never, the label can fit, whatever else you feel or do.

So an asexual person can masturbate, get aroused, have fantasies that leave them out, and even enjoy sex with someone they love. Another asexual person can do none of those things. Both are equally asexual.

The evidence behind these answers is real but limited. Surveys draw on online ace communities, and the main lab study had seven asexual participants. Expect the details to shift as research grows.

What should not shift is consent. Whether you are asexual or partnered with someone who is, sex belongs only where both people want it for their own reasons. Every yes can become a no.

Related reading

• Sex-Repulsed, Sex-Averse, Sex-Indifferent and Sex-Favorable: What Each Term Means
• Asexual vs Low Libido: How Attraction and Desire Differ
• What Is Solo Sex? A Guide to Self-Knowledge and Personal Choice
• Asexual Relationships: Love, Dating and Talking About What You Want

Sources

1. What being asexual or aromantic tells us about sex and romance - Aeon
2. What Does Being Asexual Mean? - Healthline
3. Asexual: What Does It Mean? - WebMD
4. 2022 Ace Community Survey Summary Report - The Ace Community Survey
5. Asexuality: When Sexual Attraction Is Lacking (book chapter) - Lori A. Brotto and Sonia Milani, University of British Columbia
6. Study: Many Asexual People Fantasize About Having Sex - CBS Philadelphia
7. But asexuals can’t masturbate! - Asexuality Archive
8. Physiological and Subjective Sexual Arousal in Self-Identified Asexual Women - Archives of Sexual Behavior (Brotto and Yule, University of British Columbia)
9. Aspec Perspectives on Masturbation and Libido - Part Two - The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP)
10. Even If You Get Aroused… - What Is Asexuality
11. What does it mean to be asexual? - Medical News Today
12. What Does It Mean to Be Aegosexual? Aegosexuality, Explained. - Cosmopolitan
13. What asexuality can teach us about sexual relationships and boundaries - The Conversation
14. Asexuality v. low desire. What’s the difference? - The Expansive Group (Ari Torres, LSW)